I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
