Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
