hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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