margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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