the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
