Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
