hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
