Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
