Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
