Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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