Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
