You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
