I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
