Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
