i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
