ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
