hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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