Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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