South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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