so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
