I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
