There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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