i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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