BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
