I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
