mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
