What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
