Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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