is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize