tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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