where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need to sanitize my soul.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
