i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
