I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
