it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
