Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
