i don't like sucking hair
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
