let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
