she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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