and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
