i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
