I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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