Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
