I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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