he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
