Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
