Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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