the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
