he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
