Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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