I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
