i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
