This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
