He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
