He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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