just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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