your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
