At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
