I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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