I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
