The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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