is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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