Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize