no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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