I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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