dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
MIDGETS
????
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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