Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
