i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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